If you don’t know what you _want_ in life, you can’t work towards it, so step one would be to make sure that you have that in your mind. If you do have your ideal situation in mind, then the next step is to try to work towards it. Communicate your wants and needs with partners (/employers /friends, etc) and ask for 100% of what you want 100% of the time.

It’s true that you will often have to negotiate, but if, for instance, you wanted your partner to have a coffee ready for you every day when you get home from work, they need to know that so that they can try to give you the things which you want. If you need to take time to yourself to simply enjoy being your amazing self, ask for it, negotiate times, etc. I get an hour either side of work and other times agreed with Wolf, but it is often the case that for whatever reason I don’t get this time, so when it becomes an issue, I have learned to simply ask her to understand that I need a day to myself.

Ask for what you want, but be prepared to negotiate.

I hope this helps in some way and I really respect you for having the courage to try to live both the poly lifestyle and in a way that is true to your self. Love the post, but took me some time to come up with a semi-readable response.

-Conaire

As for the question: Personally I don’t think there’s ever any right answer to these things. With any major change in lifestyle, you need balance pushing yourself and the boundaries with being patient. Don’t be in too much of a hurry, but don’t be scared that you never move forward. I think being sure in yourself is the most important thing — being in a familiar enough place that you can weather the inevitable storms. Whatever decisions you make, life and people will throw you curve balls, and you can’t expect everything to work out right. But when in doubt, building a good support network is never a bad idea.

At the risk of sounding like a cliché the important thing is what you learn from them — whoever made them. As you say, “forgive but don’t forget [...] use it to make yourself a better person.” But this doesn’t apply just to your own mistakes. Don’t forgive because It Is Right To Forgive. Forgive because you can understand and empathise, and maybe recognise something in yourself.

Good blog

My interpretation of cheating is either A) not telling your partner or B) not *wanting* to tell your partner with regards to anything that has some sort of sexual charge, whether it’s flirting with a cute girl in a coffee shop or out and out sex.

Great read first thing in the morning over coffee though. Thank you BMinstrel.